Sunday, November 16, 2008

A Personal Perspective: Real Life Polygyny

I was ecstatic to discover that someone “out there” in the world actually read my blog, I guess I never really thought that this would happen. It made me think about the bigger picture and I was interested in what other people were writing about. I found two really interesting blogs written by women involved in polygyny, incidentally they are both third wives but lead relatively different lives. I read about their stories in the blogs “The Third” and “new#3” both posted on Blogger. I have also briefly explored a blog from the male perspective of polygyny called “My two wives”.

All of these people have made polygyny real for me. Before I started reading these blogs polygyny was simply a story in a book. I never really understood the personal experience but these blogs have given me unique insight into this culture and have allowed me to see how it works on a more personal, modern level. In general reading about other people’s experiences and thoughts on polygyny as they are living the culture has been highly educational. Some aspects that I thought I understood, such as the unique bond of sisterwives or the overall structure of a plural family, are not as simple or definable as I was making them. Just like monogamist relationships and families, polygyny can be complicated and everyone’s situation is different, whether good or bad. I am now thinking of polygyny as just another type of family in the large spectrum of situations including monogamist, gay, strait, and open, as well as more I am sure.

This exploration into other blogs has really broadened my understanding of this culture. I think of it in terms of real people now and because of this it’s not so easy to say that polygyny is negative. When I read about the feelings and beliefs of people that actually live and understand the culture of polygyny, it made me realize how much I still don’t fully comprehend.


http://3rdlady.blogspot.com
http://journeyinpluralmarriage.blogspot.com/

1 comment:

Kiki Reginato said...

Hi, my name is Kiki and I am in your anthropology class. I am doing my required comments, which I though would be a complete chore, but I have to say that your blog is really interesting! Especially since you found these two women who were in plural marriages. I read your blog and their blogs afterwards.

Even before I read your blog I was always fine with the idea of polygamy. The only problem I had with the whole idea is that there are very rarely any polygamist relationships that aren’t dominated by a man. I think that it is just really frustrating to be competing for the attention of one man all the time. Why can’t a woman have more than one husband? So basically I think polygamy is sexist. Did you find any female polygamists with more than one husband? Do you know what happens if a woman in the plural marriage wants to bring in another man? Does that ever happen?

I also think that it is fascinating that the plural marriage that wife number three was in was not a religious one. I did not know that there were unreligious people in plural marriages.

I was also wondering if in your study of children in plural families they told their friends about their home life? Do people tell their communities or keep it a secret, like in Big Love?

It was also really interesting to read your first post and your last post. They are so different! Your opinion has changed so much. I think that your blog is really interesting and informative.